It's the least I could do for her!

This is a tribute to my mother who helped me write one last college essay before passing. Actually wrote it for me. It was published in the campus newspaper. I cry every time I read it. To you mom!


Teenaged Parents: The Reality

Teenagers having babies face more trials and hardships than many people realize. Although unwed mothers are common these days, they still have more problems than married mothers-to-be.

The first of many obstacles a teenager faces is telling her parents. Some girls are afraid of how their parents will react. Consequently, they put themselves and their baby at risk by not receiving proper prenatal care. Most parents realize when their daughters begin dating that pregnancy is a possibility. Most parents will recover from the initial shock and disappointment and be very supportive of their daughter.

The most difficult decision the girl will have to make has to do with her options. Twenty or thirty years ago the parents would send the girl to stay with relatives until the baby was born. She would then put the baby up for adoption, return home and no one was the wiser. In this day and age there are other choices. She may choose abortion or adoption. She may choose to marry the father. Some parents take the baby and raise it as their own child, rather than their grandchild. There is no longer a stigma attached to being an unwed mother. Therefore, many girls are opting to keep their babies and raise them on their own, many times with the help of their families.

Once the decision is made, the girl must then confront the father. In an ideal world he would jump for joy and pledge to stand by her for eternity~ or, at least until delivery. However, we do not live in an ideal world. The father may deny the possibility he could be responsible. Others may refuse to admit to anything until the paternity test is done. Still others may admit to paternity but refuse to have anything to do with the child.

If the girl is still in high school, she must do whatever is necessary to graduate. It will not be easy. Teachers expect homework to be done on time, regardless of how little sleep the mother may have had between feedings. If she is living at home, her family can be a great help. The important thing is for her to get an education. Without a diploma she will not be able to find a job that could support both herself and the baby.

After graduating from high school, she must find a job. She can then apply for financial aid to attend college. It is possible to work full time and attend college full time. It is difficult, to say the least, but if she can struggle through she will be able to make a good life for herself. The end result will be worth all the sacrifice and hardship.

A teenager who has a baby will find drastic changes in her life. While her friends will be around often in the beginning, the novelty will soon wear off and they will resume their normal lives. The mother, on the other hand, instead of deciding what to wear to the party next Saturday, will be busy sterilizing bottles and making formula. She will be forced to grow up much sooner than planned. Even college will be different than she had dreamed. There will be no dorms, no fraternity parties, no "keggers". In all likelihood, she will attend a small community college and maybe transfer to a nearby university as a commuter. She will miss the social aspects of being a college student.

When a teenager becomes a mother, her life changes forever. She will lose part of her youth that will never be regained. There will be days that she is so exhausted she thinks she may never feel normal again. It is very difficult to raise a child, work full-time, and attend school full-time. Sometimes I feel as though I may never again have a moment to myself. But when my son says, "I love you Mommy". I know I made the right choice.